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Thursday, November 22, 2007

"Don't fix it unless you're asked!"

Have you ever had someone tell you about a problem or concern they are having, and you're mind automatically starts thinking of a solution for them? Probably, we all have. Somehow that seems to be an automatic response for most people; especially in response to people we love and care about. Often, though, all the speaker wants (often without even knowing it) is simply to be heard and understood. It can take an act of will to notice the urge to offer a fix and hold your tongue. Next time this happens to you, don't jump right in with a solution, try listening instead and asking them if there is more they would like to say about that until they are emptied out. Then, rather than offering a solution, ask them if they would like you to hear your ideas about what they could do. People feel much better about receiving solutions and answers they have asked for.

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